Bliss · Morgan

     I really like the way that looks.

Current Mood:

ecstatic

Not until I was faced with that ring.

When I opened my last gift from Alex and found it sitting there, I realized he was dead serious.  And I realized that I was finally ready to take that step with someone.  More importantly, that I was ready to take that step with him.  Considering that I never wanted to get married before, I'd say that's pretty huge. 

A lot of people say that life is over after marriage.  That you have to give up everything to wear that ball and chain, but that's not the case with Alex.  I don't have to stop being me just to be with him.  I don't have to pretend I'm someone I'm not.  And neither does he.  I know who he is, what he does, and how he is.  And that's why I love him.  I would never ask him to change even a small bit of that to be with me, because then he wouldn't be the man I love.  I think he's relieved by that.  I think he likes knowing that he can take off that ball and chain anytime he wants to; that he's not going to be tied down ... unless he really wants to, heh.

Current Location:	home.
Current Mood:	loved

As a Commander, I know that my presence is both much needed and, sometimes, much hated.  Everyone loves the praise, the promotions, the raises, this is true, but when that coin is flipped to the opposite side, things can get ugly.  Lord knows I try to be the type of person that people would feel comfortable going to for help, but it doesn't always work that way.  Take last night, for instance.

Jalena Tepes has been a member of mine for several months; a member that I saw a great deal of potential in.  She worked hard and tried to make herself an asset to both the Legion and the Coalition.  The only problem I had with her was her behavior and her attitude.  While she tried hard, Jalena was not the type that took kindly to answering to someone else, nor did she take constructive critisism well.  My first formal meeting with her was not a pleasant one, and it forever changed how I viewed her.  My second meeting was even worse and again, forever changed how I would think of her.  I can recall almost all of my members with some fond thought or another but it was becoming increasingly difficult when it came to Ms. Tepes.

Just yesterday, I had to call Jalena into my office for yet another meeting; it had been brought to my attention that her form of recruiting was less than professional, and I needed to address this as well as her questions as to why she was not being promoted.  The first half of the meeting went well --which was understandable since that was where  I was praising her hard work and efforts -- the second half?  Not so much.  When I told Jalena that her form of recruiting, as well as her choice of attire was inappropriate for an establishment that was supposed to be professional in every way, the former Lieutenant turned on me, hitting me with her vicious temper.  Needless to say, that did not go well.  While I don't like to become angry with anyone, and though I tried to remain calm and professional, I could not help but try to take from her the respect I am owed.  This ended with Jalena's resignation.  As I said, there is no love lost between she and I and, looking back on it now, I am glad she is gone.  I cannot allow anyone with such a flagrant disregard of my authority and the rules of the Coalition to continue to move forward in my Legion.  It takes years of hard work and dedication to build a respectable view to the public, but it takes mere seconds for that reputation to come crashing down around your ears.  Like I said, I could not allow that to happen.

On another note, I know that everyone goes through this at some point or another in a career like mine; you sit and wonder, "How important am I to everyone around me?".  How much do your friends value you?  How highly do they think of you?  These questions have all been answered for me in some form or another over this past week.  

I am very well known around the Outpost as easygoing and a complete goofball.  I like that, actually; but sometimes I wonder if people really have the ability to take me seriously and realize that I have more to offer than just a good joke every now and then.  I realized this week that they do.

A few nights ago after the Guild Meeting, Snowy and I went over to the Bristo to get some coffee -- she said there was something she wanted to talk to me about.  I thought we were just going to hang out and chat, but I was in for a big surprise.  

I knew that Alex had proposed to Snowy, and I knew that a wedding was in the process, but I was completely blown away, ,and even left choked up, when Snowy said that she and Alex had discussed it and that they wanted me to officiate their wedding.  For me, this is a huge deal.  So much time, effort, and love goes into making a wedding happen -- everything has to be perfect right down to the last detail, most importantly the ceremony.  The fact that they like, respect, and trust me enough to do this for them speaks volumes to me, and there really are no words that could even begin to describe how important, wanted and happy that made me feel.

The second thing that made me feel this very same way came last night, from someone I never expected.  Hal and I have never been what you would call good friends.  There is always polite conversation when we run into one another, but to be honest, the most he has ever said to me was when I was interviewing him for the Voice.  So when we met at the Inne last night, this is exactly what I expected to happen once more; polite conversation.  Hal surprised me to no end when he asked if I would be the Godmother of his unborn child.  This was, for me, completely out of the blue and unexpected.  To ask someone to be a Godparent, you are asking them into both yours, and the child's life.  You are basically saying, "Hey, I know you aren't a blood relation, but I want you to have a tie to us regardless."  

It is things like this that make me realize that, no matter my own doubts of my place in peoples lives, I am important to them.  It is things like this that make me feel like a wanted person and not just another face in the crowd.  It is things like this that show me my true worth.  When I first came here, I never thought to build the relationships and bonds that I have, but here they are, and I wouldn't trade a single one for anything in the world.

Current Mood:

content

So, Snowy and Amon convinced me that I should get a journal of my own and here I am.  Right now, I don't have much to write; this is basically just to see how this is going to look when it's all said and done.  Sound good?  Great.

Current Mood:

calm